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Dear Mom

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday, mom. Can you believe that your youngest child is 43 years old? I’m not even sure that I can believe it myself! Where did the years go? It doesn’t seem like I should be this age yet. Oh well, age is just a number.
 
Birthdays are the one day of the year that each of us gets to be celebrated and made to feel special. Even though I don’t know exactly what today holds in store for me, I’m sure I will probably receive cards, gifts, telephone calls and good wishes. On my birthday, I wish to honor you, mom, because of all the gifts you gave me through out my life. I thank you most of all for the gift of life, because I know that when you were carrying me was not an easy pregnancy. 
 
First, thanks for always believing that I would survive and even thrive in spite of what the doctors had to say from the beginning. You see, I came into the world two months early and weighed just a little over two pounds. The doctors were so sure that I would not live that they didn’t place my mom on the maternity ward after my birth. Because of my premature birth and low birth weight, I remained hospitalized for quite some time, about two months, I think, before I was at a weight where I was able to be released.
 
It was around the time that I should have been trying to walk that my mom and dad suspected that something was wrong with me. They took me to various doctors and eventually to the National Institute of Health. It was there that the doctors determined that I had been born with a condition known as moderate Cerebral Palsy.   What a devastating diagnosis that must have been for my parents to receive. I can only imagine.
 
Even after the diagnosis, my parents tried very hard to not treat me any differently from my other siblings. I’m sure, at times this must have been extremely difficult, but they did so nevertheless. If I did something that deserved punishment or a spanking then that is exactly what I would receive. Also, my parents wanted me to learn to do things for myself and not become too dependant on other people. When I became old enough, I helped out with things around the house like dishes, laundry and even cooking.
 
When I began school, I attended a school for people with different disabilities and was placed in special education classes. I attended there up until I was in the fifth grade. It was at this time that I was “mainstreamed” into the public school system and was no longer in special education classes. 
 
In 1978, my dad retired from the United States Navy after serving for 28 years. We then moved to Orange, Texas, so that we could live closer to my mom’s parents. This was important to my mom because she was an only child and over the years we had moved a great deal because of my dad serving in the military. After being here for a short time and my dad getting a new job, it was now time for them to buy a house. They found the house they wanted and then it was time to get my sister, Karin, brother, Kolin, and I registered for school. Simple enough, right? Not so fast. The Orangefield Independent School District had never before had anyone in a wheelchair attend there before. They were not sure they could meet my needs because of certain issues.
 
I must say that Orangefield is a very small school district, so I can understand their concerns. The school was so small that many of the classes I would be taking would take place in an older Building which was known as the Alamo. The name of the building is a very accurate description of it. Also, the building was very old and therefore not accessible to someone in a wheelchair. The district wondered what to do if I had a class that was to be held upstairs on the second floor. Also, the district didn’t have a bus that was wheelchair accessible, so how would I get to and from school each day? Then there was the issue of how would I get across campus if a class was located elsewhere on the campus or how would I get to and from the lunch room?
 
My mom was forever my champion and always ready to stand up and fight on behalf of my rights. She knew just how hard I had worked to attend public school rather then be in special education classes. As a result, for every issue or concern the school district had my mom was able to offer them simple and workable solutions. I won’t go into what the exact solutions were, but the point is I was able to attend Orangefield because of my mom’s ability to provide the school district with reasonable and workable solutions to all issues. She had fought and won on my behalf. Thanks mom for always having been my biggest champion and defender of my rights!
 
Mom never stopped helping me reach for my goals and dreams in life. After I graduated from high school, my mom made it possible for me to attend the local community college. The public transportation service buses were old, unreliable and therefore always breaking down and weren’t reliably able to pick me up and get me to my classes. Without fail or complaint, mom would drive me to and from the campus whenever necessary, which was far more often than it should have been. She did this Monday through Friday come rain or shine. I can’t tell you how many times we both got soaking wet because it was raining while we were getting me in and out of the car! Mom would be soaking wet and have to change clothes when she got home and I’d be soaking wet and sitting in an air conditioned classroom. It took me almost 3 ½ years to earn an associate degree in accounting, because I wasn’t taking a full course load, but I finally did it! Yea! I was so proud of myself, but I think mom was even prouder of me then I was of myself. 
 
I have always felt somewhat guilty, because I have never been able to put that degree to use. I tried diligently for some time upon graduation to seek employment, but I always found myself up against two insurmountable obstacles: the perspective employers wanted someone with either more actual work experience or more education. After years of hearing this, I finally quit trying to find traditional employment opportunities. That is why I love what I do now so very much because no one can tell me that I don’t have the skills needed to do it.
 
Just over four years ago, I finally moved into my own apartment and out on my own. Yes, it happened very late in my life, but better late than never! This was a huge step towards independence for me, but it was also quite an adjustment for my parents as well. It seemed harder for my dad to let go then it was for my mom to do so. Mom’s attitude seemed to be one of abosolute certainty that I would succeed at this just as I had all of life’s other challenges. While I knew without a doubt my dad loved and supported my efforts just as much as my mom, I knew the whole situation made him quite nervous. My dad wanted to try his best to ensure that every single possible situation that might arise could be addressed to help ensure my success. Of course, this couldn’t be done and I think this is what made him the most nervous about my living on my own. After all, it is a parent’s desire to protect their child as much as possible from life’s difficulties and challenges. Over the years, I have managed to show everyone that I’m doing great living on my own and thriving with my new found independence. 
 
Yes, today I will celebrate my 43rd birthday, but since I wouldn’t be here if my mom had not given birth to me, I wanted to take the opportunity to celebrate and honor my mom on this day. Thanks mom for all you did through the years to help me become the self-confident and independent women I am today. I know without a doubt that I wouldn’t be who I am today without all you did to help ensure my success in whatever challenges life handed me along the way. 
 
Mom, I hope that you are aware of all that has happened in my life since you passed away. I hope that you are enjoying watching everything unfold and that you know that you are a big part of all that I’m doing now. These letters to you are my way of sharing all that with you and also with others as well. Thanks for my life mom and for doing all you possibly could to help me become the best and most independent individual that I could possibly become! I only hope that you are proud of the women I am and the life I’ve made for myself.
 
 
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Dear Mom

The Unique Nature of Hummingbird Flight

Mom, when I discovered this information about the unique nature of hummingbird flight I was immediately reminded of our fascination with their aerial displays. Each spring and fall, we would spend a great deal of time sitting on the back porch watching these tiny birds in utter amazement. We would watch as the hummingbirds would fight over feeder access or a certain hanging basket plants or just put on their aerial displays. What an amazing show Mother Nature would provide us with!
 
These birds would, at times, even provide us with a really good laugh.   Mom, do you remember the times the hummingbirds would hit the kitchen window because they thought the flowers on the kitchen wallpaper were real and would make a great source of nectar? I sure do. 
 
For those of you who don’t know anything about this, I must explain the situation here. When we moved into my parents’ home, in 1979, the wallpaper in the kitchen had these huge brightly colored flowers (red, orange, yellow, blue and more) and the hummingbirds seemed to think they would serve as a great source of nectar. The home was only six months old when we moved into it. The family that built it liked very bright and strange color choices. My family hated the wallpaper! At the time, money was an issue, so it wasn’t replaced for several years to come. In an effort to tame down the wallpaper and maybe even prevent the hummingbirds from continually flying into the window, my mom went to the trouble of painting over many of the flowers. This did help tame down the overly vivid nature of the wallpaper, but it still did little to keep the hummingbirds from believing that those flowers would serve as an excellent source of nectar and thus flying into the window. In case you are wondering, none of the hummingbirds were ever seriously hurt by doing this, just momentarily dazed. This kept happening over the years until the wallpaper was finally changed. I’m not sure who was happier about this, the hummingbirds or the family. Personally, my bet is on the hummingbirds.
 
Well, now that you know the story, let me get back to the topic of today’s post, the unique nature of hummingbird flight. If you are like my mom and me, whenever you think about the hummingbird you think of it is a bird that is in almost constantly in perpetual motion. Guess what? This simply isn’t true. Here’s why. 
 

A study of one territorial Lucifer hummingbird male showed how the bird spent an hour of time. The vast majority of his time, 41 minutes, was spent perched. The bird only spent 4 minutes feeding. Each feeding was very brief, lasting only 12 seconds in length.  Hummingbirds will usually visit between 1000-2000 flowers per day. The final 15 minutes of the hour was spent by the male chasing away intruders.

What is unusual about a hummingbird’s flying? The hummingbird is the only bird with the ability to fly forwards, backwards, up, down, sideways, or sit in sheer space. This is because the hummingbird has the ability to rotate its wings in a full circle. Whenever hovering, the hummingbird will move their wings forward and backwards in a repeated figure eight. Hummingbirds even have the ability to fly short distances upside down. This is known as a trick rollover and hummingbirds will use this maneuver whenever they are being attacked by another bird. 

We always did enjoy the aerial displays put on by the hummingbirds, didn’t we mom? Well, maybe the information on the unique nature of hummingbird flight will help explain why. I hope that each of you who read this will also have enjoyed discovering about it as well.
 
 
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Dear Mom

Happy Graduation Day

Today marks a milestone in Hannah and Olivia’s lives, mom. (For those of you who don’t know me personally, Hannah and Olivia are my nieces. They are eight months apart in age and they will be graduating from two different local high schools today). Today is their high school graduation day. It doesn’t seem possible that they are both old enough to be graduating high school, but they are. Where did the time go? It seems like just the other day that they were little girls without a care in the world and now they are about to embark on the next phase of their lives. I wish you were here to share with them and all of us who love them this milestone in their lives!
 
Mom, you would be so very proud of the fine young women which both Hannah and Olivia have become. Hannah will be attending Southwest Texas State in the fall. She has received over $47,000 in academic scholarships to help cover the cost of her college education. Throughout her high school career, Hannah has been involved in numerous extra curricular activities including band, National Honor Society, UIL One Act Play, UIL Prose Writing, Headline Writing and much more. With all her extra curricular activities, it has amazed me to watch her juggle her school work, a part-time job and all the other activities in which she is involved. I get tired just imagining living her hectic and crazy life! It must be wonderful to be so young and have all that boundless energy.
 
Olivia is an equally amazing young women, mom. She has received a full four year scholarship to any college in the state of Texas. She plans on attending Lamar University Beaumont in the fall. Right now, Olivia is thinking that she wants to become a physical therapist, so she will take courses that will enable her to work towards that goal. Throughout her high school career Olivia was also involved in numerous extra curricular activities as well. This includes band, volleyball, weight lifting and much more. 
 
I am so very proud of both Hannah and Olivia, and I know that you would be as well. Their graduation marks the end of one phase of their lives and the beginning of a new one. It is a time they will always remember in their lives, but don’t forget to embrace what the future holds in store for you. Life is a journey and not a destination, so enjoy all the wonderful milestones that are still ahead in your life. After all, you only live once, so don’t have too many regrets about the choices you have made in your life. Although, you will have some regrets in your life, because everyone does and that’s ok, just as long as your life isn’t too full of them. 
 
Happy Graduation Day Hannah and Olivia! Enjoy this special milestone in your lives. Know that all your hard work and effort has been worth it and that this day is your well deserved reward. Don’t forget all of those who have helped you get to this point in your lives: parents, teachers, family, and friends. I am so very proud of the fine young women you have become and I look forward to watching the rest if your lives unfold. Even though your grandmother, Granny June, isn’t here to share this milestone with you, I believe that she is looking down on each of you with a great deal of love and pride.   
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Dear Mom

Nothing Like a Mother’s Love

Moms just somehow seem to have the power to make everything right in their children’s world. Even if as an adult we realize that isn’t reality, there are still times when there is nothing like a mother’s love to make everything seem alright once again. I wish my mom could do so for me today. I’m 42 years old and my mom past away 18 months ago, but yet I would give anything in the world to be able to pick up the phone and hear my mom’s voice. I’m not sure why today I feel this overwhelming sense of loss and loneliness, but I just know that I do.
 
Mom if you were here I know you would talk to me or give me a hug and reassure me that everything will get better. It just seems that whatever I try to do today doesn’t turn out right no matter what it is that I’m attempting to accomplish. I’m feeling very frustrated, stressed out and overwhelmed. What I wouldn’t give for one of those hugs today. No one loves like a mother does.
 
I miss you every single day mom, but there are just some days, like today, that that sense of loss is overpowering. Then I just have to see the pretty flowers of spring or a hummingbird and I’m reminded that you are still with me in spirit and that you will always be so. Thanks mom for all the love you gave me in my life. Know that you were, and still are, a great mom. I will forever carry your love and memories of you inside my heart. No one will ever take your place in my life. Like I said earlier, no one loves like a mother does, so don’t ever take it for granted.
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Dear Mom

Thunderstorms and Hummingbirds

I think about you, at some point, every single day mom.  Today was no different.  In fact, I woke up fist thing this morning thinking about you, because in the early morning hours, we were having heavy thunderstorms.  You always did enjoy a raging thunderstorm, especially if there was heavy rain, lighting, and thunder.  I remember how you used to like to sit on the porch or in the garage during a good storm.  I like it too.  The storm somehow makes me think of you and feel closer to you.

 

To let you understand how much my mom loved a good storm, it seemed only fitting that there was a terrible storm on the day my mom died.  I don’t know how much rain we received on that day, but I do know that it was coming down so hard that it was almost impossible for my sister to see while driving us to our dad’s house after having picked me up at my apartment.  In fact, my sister and I both even comment how appropriate it seemed that it was raining on that day and that mom would have really liked the storm that was occurring.  As inappropriate as this may seem to those of you who didn’t know my mom, we even joked that maybe the storm was occurring in her honor.  Mom would have loved that!

 

You may be wondering, what do hummingbirds and thunderstorms have to do with one another?  Well, usually nothing I’m sure, but for me these to things will be forever linked together.  Those are two things that will always remind me of my mother.  Hummingbirds and thunderstorms are two things that we both have a fondness for and this will always connect us together, even after mom’s death.

 

So mom, just know how much I enjoyed this mornings thunderstorms.  It woke me up and as I laid there in bed I thought of you and wondered if you were somehow enjoying it too.  I don’t know if there will be any more storms later today or not, but if so they will make me think of you as well.  The only bad thing about the storms, if you can even call this bad, is that they will probably keep the humming birds away.  Oh well, the hummingbirds will just have to come again some other day!